Carpe Something

Sometimes I take a ride 
and on the bus I feel nervous, 
staring out at the night passing by,
wondering about my life,
racing by so fast I barely grasp it then it’s gone; 
the past so vast it looms above us all.  
I wonder if I’ll ever find a way 
to suck the life from every single day.

Sometimes I feel like 
everytime I walk outside I should try 
to feel each breath and use my eyes 
to see the truth and feel alive, 
but i hide and smoke and drink 
and watch too much TV, 
play Tetris, lie around and fall asleep 
and wait until the feeling goes away, 
so wasting all my time becomes okay.

~ November 2002