Survivor Guilt

Well I didn’t know how to feel tonight, 
I hadn’t been expecting it to go right
I’d lost each time before and didn’t know 
exactly how to play my role
And should I feel triumphant now 
and lift my cup in victory and enjoy the crown
Or should I feel guilt 
because I know the feeling of my vanquished foe?

I don’t know.
~ March 31, 2003