Birthday

I’d do anything for you
but you don’t need me for anything
things can change so fast 
a week becomes the distant past and
talking to you now is agony

I’ve grown accustomed to your face
but its effect on me now is something crazy
it says, I’m sorry Jeff, I only wish for you the best,
the sentiment serrating through my eyes

Day one, day two,
Then I talk to you
You call like you used to
Asking what’s up, what’s new

You see the news about those guys
Ex-boyfriends turning into crazy murder-suicides
I kinda sympathize, it isn’t that I want to die,
just turn the world’s attention to my cause

Cuz otherwise it’s so mundane
like no one else is ever in pain
I want to revel in my misery and waste away
like somehow you might be at all impressed

Day three, day four,
I see you once more,
I’m still addicted to you,
Too weak to cut you off

[I want you baby
and it’s my birthday
I once was your gift
and you returned it ]

I’d do anything for you
but you don’t need me for anything

Day nine, day ten
My phone rings again
You’re trying to be friends
But I’m still addicted to you

~ May 2003