Undeveloped

A strange invention,
point and click technology,
cuz now I have at home,
inside a drawer,
pushed way in the back,
these small canisters.
Rattling inside of them
are a bunch of memories,
awaiting me,
invading my mind,
undeveloped.

Like failed opportunities,
like never-finished melodies,
like feelings that cut off too soon,
like resources I never use,
like consciousness that doesn’t think,
like understanding anything,
like all my plans that fade away,
like all these things I never say,
like all the books I never wrote,
like all the friendships I forsook,
potential never realized,
hopes I had that slowly died,
relationships left incomplete,
like understanding anything.

Now I keep waiting
and this film is growing old
because I can’t decide
if I want to see
a time in my life
unremembered,
all these shots of you and me,
a life that never quite
developed right,
haunting me still,
undeveloped.

~ Fall 2002 / May 2003