2004
Love Plus
A last gasp from Łomża; my second proper album: [download here]
- Heartstrings (2:09)
- Glitterati (6:07)
- Ghost Dance† (4:51)
- The Diviner and the Rel† (3:24)
- Generation of One (3:54)
- Joie de Vivre (2:12)
- Love Plus (4:30)
Recorded in Łomża, Poland, in the first half of 2004, except †recorded partially in Frostburg, Md., USA, in July. Cover photo by Luke Strosnider. “Love Plus” is a concept from Alvin Toffler’s The Third Wave.
Heartstrings
Another frozen day A twenty-minute coffee break Thinking of words that I want to say Sculpting and honing the thoughts Tumbling out of my heart I’ve learned how to write a tune Shifting some meanings to set a mood Wait for the caffeine and sugar to Move the whole process along Turning it into a song But I’m always left frustrated However I re-arrange it There’s a certain limitation Only so much variation I’ve only got two hands But I’m alright with a one-man band I could be perfectly happy here Quietly chasing the thoughts Tumbling out of my heart My one remaining wish: An occasional accompanist A beautiful golden-voiced cellist Singing a harmony part Fretting the strings of my heart
~ April 1, 2004
Glitterati
Everytime that I dig up and pull on this old orange t-shirt I remember nasty stains and nasty sex Nasty thoughts go through my head Everytime I see you now in those jeans and matching hooded sweatshirt I match the brown with jagged sighs And the movement of our thighs And close my eyes When I have almost nothing clean and I reach into the back of my closet There are these t-shirts left I guess belong to you They’re a little tight but I guess they’ll do And I think that I still have them because you were sometimes insistent That I put on something clean Before curling up to sleep I rub my eyes What am I supposed to do, get a new wardrobe completeley? See the problem is I still don’t know how To bleach my brain and whiten my eyes And imagine any other body pressed up against this nice clean long-sleeved collared shirt
~ October 2003
Generation of One
Dystopic television Message boards and PS2 With viral marketing unbranded anticool They’re evangelizing you Postmodern sophists spinning With pyrotechnic background screens Talk show hosts crucified they die to save our souls Twenty-first century angels You’re all alone You’re in control You weave a future from your home You’re all alone You’re in control A dialectic neutral zone Me, I’m a second older My life’s already obsolete Cool hunters nonchalantly showed me to the door Flirting with relevance no more [Think I’ll pack it in and buy an iPod, take it down to L.A. Find a place to plug it in and try to catch up, join the brand new day] If history is over You’ll never have to think or dream What use iconoclasm if icons are so cheap? Download your gods and go to sleep
~ 2003
Love Plus
Taking a walk by the train tracks late at night A beer in my bag And pen and paper but I left my phone at home It isn’t halfway so romantic as I thought that it could be It’s mostly awkward but I’ll keep on walking Cuz at least it helps me think Each time I try another great leap forward My knees get one more scar If this is the year 2004 Then I want my flying car And everything else they promised to me Or at least a path to follow for me Or at least a world that made some sense Or at least some change to pay my rent All I’ve got is you now Beautiful thing Hoping that maybe a future shock will be waiting at the end That time and space can roll on over and start at zero again And we won’t need their standardization And we’ll reject their centralization And dreams can be our specialization And we could reset civilization All I’ll need is you there Beautiful dream
~ 2004
Ghost Dance
I haven’t been there in a year but still I know the way the second right beyond the lights is where my cousins used to play I really cannot recommend a visit if you haven’t been there’s nothing there but prison walls and parking lots around the mall How sad to see it in the news I can’t believe these things are true but somehow on the other hand it feels so appropriate these faces are my family my alternate reality a doppelgänger form of me a half-forgotten part of me It’s something I can’t figure out how to wrap my brain around all I do is spin around push egg shells into coffee grounds I can’t absorb the things I read they don’t fit with my memories it’s like a stain on everything like blood and coffee in my sink I can’t dive down much deeper now I’m seeking something Reaching out blindly in the dark Needing something Hitting the bottom with my knees Cutting something Clawing the gravel with my nails Catching something Praying my breath will still hold out Moving something Open my eyes up in surprise Stinging, choking Dark reddish water all around Like blood and coffee grounds The world’s weight inside my chest Still I struggle A task impossible at best But inevitable I guess Prying it loose with all my might Lungs near bursting Kicking my body towards the dim distant surface
