2003
Shell Beach
[Download here]
Shell Beach is a single from Kraj — it could be a nice radio-friendly unit shifter if only the recording was better. Anyway I added two b-sides to it to make it like a real release.
- Shell Beach (3:46)
- Monologue (2:46)
- What It Takes (4:22)
Recorded in Łomża, Poland, spring 2003, on a cheap laptop with a soldered-and-taped microphone and a freeware recording program called Audacity. All songs by The Orcas except for What It Takes (by Aerosmith).
This is Pretend These Are Records #5.
Shell Beach
Saw the picture on a postcard once White white sand and blue blue waves Didn’t know exactly where it was Couldn't read the postmark date Something strange about the memory Cuz I can’t find it on this map And I can’t get out of this city And my whole world is just a trap Can’t anybody tell me where to go or how to find my way alone If I keep going down this road who’s gonna stop me Am I just paranoid or stoned or sick or something I don’t know I barely recognize my home. Saw the same picture on a calendar Looked so inviting, so serene Shell Beach, it must be somewhere out there Someplace out there that I can’t reach Can’t anybody tell me where to go or how to find my way alone If I keep going down this road who’s gonna stop me Am I just paranoid or stoned or sick or something I don’t know And I don’t think this is my home. I swear I woke up this morning somewhere different than I went to sleep last night. I wonder if it makes a difference how the world keeps on shifting; I can’t recall sunlight. Maybe the picture is reality And this dark city is the dream If I keep going one direction I’ll hit the coast eventually Can’t anybody tell me where to go or how to find my way alone If I keep going down this road who’s gonna stop me Am I just paranoid or stoned or sick or something I don’t know I thought I was there years ago. Oh can’t you tell me where to go or how to find my way alone If I keep going down this road are you gonna stop me Am I just paranoid or stoned or sick or something I don’t know But I just know I have to go.
~ February 10, 2003 
Monologue
Never dared to really think this could be my life— so crazy normal. And it’s cool, but honestly I’m not sure it fits, I mean, I’ve been resisting it for all my life. Does this make any sense? It sounds completely stupid if I try to say it out loud. But it’s like this insane resistance to the trappings of ordinary life. I didn’t know what I wanted but somehow it was easy to resist societal demands for a stable job, wife and kids. And I can’t even fully admit to myself that I would want those ordinary things. Even now. Like, when I was walking over here tonight, I had this sudden vision of my children walking the same way some day. My god, I never really thought about kids before in my life. It’s such a change in worldview. A new Weltanschauung. It came so suddenly I’m still reeling. What happened anyway? Is this something I can trust? I really want to and I’m trying to but it’s still alien to me. Do you get this at all? I’m still excited but kinda freaked out at the same time. Anyway yes I am happy just dealing with new territory which is never so easy for me…
